Motherhood and All the Things…

So I always knew I wanted to be a mother some day. I really didn’t plan much further than wanting 3 babies. For me, there was never this vision of what my future would look like, where I would live, who I would marry or anything like that. I just knew I would someday get married and have 3 babies.

Now “someday” is here and I have my husband and my 3 beautiful babies. And I’m straight wingin’ this motherhood business. It’s so strange to me how when you’re younger you just think the grown ups know what to do and have all their s*** together, but now I know that it’s not true. Most of us have no idea what we’re doing. Do people at the grocery store or wherever see me and think I’m an adult? Do they think I look like a grown up? Because I 100% do not see a grown up when I look in the mirror. And I’m a mother to 3 human beings who I am responsible for raising. Wild.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post and it might be a little ramble-y, but it’s World Breastfeeding Week and I’m nursing my last sweet baby while I type this and it just got me thinking about all the things I have done as a mother that I never would have imagined doing. First, breastfeeding. I was never planning on breastfeeding my babies. I was formula fed and that’s what I was going to do for my babies. So I did zero research on breastfeeding before my first baby was born. I was clueless, but minutes after he was born and they laid him on my chest the nurse asked if I wanted to see if he would latch. Riding on that post birth dopamine rush I decided to try and see what happened. That little nugget latched so well right away. I was honestly shocked, but then I decided we would roll with it unless I got to the point that I couldn’t handle it mentally, physically or emotionally. We went 17 months and then weaned when I was in the early weeks of my second pregnancy.

Then my second baby breastfed for 20 months. We had a much more difficult journey than the first, but at that point I knew I could do it and I was determined to make it work. Baby #3 is going on 5 months of breastfeeding now and she’s just as fat and squishy as can be. Turns out I’m pretty good at the one thing I was absolutely not going to do as a mama. Of course, I’ve had help and support the entire time from my husband, lactation consultants, and the world of mamas on Instagram. (But seriously. Check out @thebetterboob @thelittlemilkebar_ and @tittycitydesign on Instagram if you need help or encouragement with anything breastfeeding related. Those mamas are incredible.)

Formula feeding is great. Breastfeeding is great. Tube feeding and any other way you choose to feed or need to feed your baby is great. I’m not here to judge anyone’s feeding methods. Mama’s deal with enough judgement as it is. Motherhood is tough and fun and scary and amazing and all the emotions all the time. Or maybe that’s just me riding this rollercoaster of having an almost 5 year old, almost 3 year old, and a 4 month old baby. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one though.

Speaking of “almost 5” and “almost 3”, I have two September birthday parties to plan. Birthday parties were a big deal for my family and some of my favorite memories so I try to do it up for my kids with themes, decorations, and cakes. I’m not on the level of the influencers and hardcore Pinterest moms, but I do love a good theme party and a homemade cake. I’ll have to add that to my list of future things to write about. And there will definitely be more about being a mother since that is my number 1 job right now. 🙂

My first little squish.